Montoya RM, Horton RS. A meta-analytic investigation of the processes underlying the similarity-attraction effect. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2013;30(1):64-94. doi:10.1177/0265407512452989
The Opposites Attract
While the first thing that we consciously become aware of in meeting someone is their physical appearance, what determines the degree to which we find them attractive is something that is much more than skin-deep. It has to do with a feeling, an instinctive sense of the qualities and tendencies that may be all but invisible to the naked eye or to our conscious awareness, but are recognized by a kind of inner radar that identifies and responds to someone on a subconscious level. We're probably asking some version of the question: "Is my experience of myself more whole, more complete with this person?"
A commitment to continual harmony and peacefulness can be as threatening to the integrity of a successful relationship as an excessive amount of risk, discord or disharmony. Creating a balance involves the ability to hold the tension of the opposites, without going too far over to one side or the other, which by the way is unavoidable. Fortunately when the inevitable occurs, as it occasionally does, it is possible to put in course corrections that can re-stabilize things. Sometimes we have to risk going too far in order to find out how far we can go. And, there is no fixed or correct point at which we can find some permanent balance. This is a dynamic process and the balance point between the two poles of security and adventure is constantly in flux, and influenced by the inner and outer realities of each partner and the needs of the relationship itself at any given moment.
Opposites attract, and that's especially true in the world of fonts. This sentiment set consists of four different sentiments done in a pretty, bold font. The companion sentiments are done in a soft, flowing script, creating a lovely paradox.
"When asked about their preferences for a mate, people may partially draw upon lay theories of romantic attraction rather than their true desires for a mate," says Pieternel Dijkstra, a professor at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands and the study's lead researcher.
"Although many individuals occasionally feel attracted to 'opposites,' attractions between opposites often do not develop into serious intimate relationships and, when they do, these relationships often end prematurely," she said.
Because similarity is associated with attraction, it makes sense that individuals in committed relationships tend to be alike in many ways. Sometimes this is called assortative mating, although this term is more often used to describe the ways in which people with similar levels of educational attainment, financial means and physical appearance tend to pair up.
For example, in one study researchers found that college students preferred descriptions of mates whose written bios were similar to themselves or their ideal self over those described as complementing themselves. Other studies have supported this finding. For example, introverts are no more attracted to extraverts than they are to anyone else.
In a counter-intuitive discovery published in the current edition of the journal Nature, researchers from Harvard, the University of California at Davis, Princeton, and Penn State University report that oppositely charged drops of water will not attract permanently, but instead will bounce off each other indefinitely when subjected to a force of attraction created by what physicists call an electric field that is too strong.
High-speed video revealed that above a certain value the force of attraction produced a double cone bridge (like two cones with their tips touching) between two oppositely charged drops of water.
In fact, we are more likely to be attracted to someone who is physically similar to ourselves. According to research from St Andrews, we are attracted to the features that our parents had when we were born, such as eye colour. This could be because we see them as our first caregiver, and associate positive feelings with their features.
Overall, searching for your exact opposite probably isn't the most effective way of finding a partner. The scientific evidence points to opposites barely ever attracting. Besides, if the research is correct, you're probably already attracting all the right people anyway.
Very cool, Hayley and Hannah-- you learned something new about magnets and science-- WOHOO! We like your creative idea of how magnets get together-- attraction can mean a few different things! Way to go, you learned about magnets used in our daily life! :)
Another great example of magnetic force, Louise M! Nice work! We like the creativity that goes into a magnet like that-- like a bandage that advertises a health clinic! The refrigerator is a type of metal, which provides a place for a magnet to stick-- by attracting the magnetic force. We think you've done a great job WONDERing today! :)
YAY, we are so happy to say hello to our Wonder Friends in Miss Price's class! We are so happy that you are sharing your comment about magnets with us today! We think you've got a SUPER Wonder about electronics, too! We Wonder... when magnets in the electronics are attracted to magnets that are not part of the T.V. or computer, do you think the electronic product will no longer work? Or do you think it will alter the way the product works? We Wonder if you can continue to research on your own and let us know what you've found!?We're glad you joined the fun today! Thank you for using your AWESOME imaginations! :)
We love your "magnet-ficent" comment, Wonder Friends in Mrs. Turner's Reading class! :) Thanks for sharing what you've learned in today's Wonder-- it's such a good time when we can all learn together and have fun doing so! We're really attracted to AWESOME Wonder Friends like you! Also, you've been doing a SUPER job of WONDERing on your own! We bet you can do some research of your own about some of your own magnetic ideas... we think you're on to something when it comes to magnetically powered cars! Perhaps we have a group of entrepreneurs in the class?! We can't wait to Wonder with you tomorrow... super guessing! Thank you for joining us today! :)
Opposites may attract and drive each other a little crazy, but together they can make satisfactory decisions despite their divergent attitudes, according to a Boston College researcher who led a study that explored how selfish and altruistic consumers join in decision making.
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